A Ripped Soul

I miss the sweat.

I miss the chalk.

I even miss the blood and tears.

I miss the noises.

The shouts of coaches, the cheers of teammates.

The chatter of little girls, the thuds and creaks of equipment.

I miss the smell.

That peculiar combination

That can be found in one place.

The strange mix of chalk and sweat

That never gets blown away by the air conditioner.

I miss the pain.

Feeling like my limbs are on fire.

Wishing my hands would fall off.

The stinging brought on by sudden loss of skin.

The bruises and rug burns of a thousand falls.

I miss the fear.

The moment of telling myself to let go.

That moment in the corner where all my fears rise up

And try to choke me.

Yes, even that split second of terror as my narrow solid surface 

Disappears from under my feet.

I miss the joy.

The time with my team talking by the chalk bowl.

The relief I feel after a long day of school.

The moment when I realize we're conditioning ourselves.

The feeling of being part of a team.

 I miss the satisfaction.

The knowledge that however much pain I'm in, it's worth it.

The sound of my feet hitting the narrow solid surface right on.

The moment I know I did my routine correctly; straight legs and all.

The feeling after I get a skill for the first time.

The knowledge that I did it.

That relief that floods me as I realize I can do what needs to be done. 

The knowledge that weeks of hard work have paid off.

I miss the gym.

Every aspect of it.

Even the parts I used to complain about.

I miss my team, who never let me chicken out, 

But who were always there for me.

I miss hearing my coach yell at me (loudly enough for the whole gym to hear)

That I just needed to get over it and go.

I miss being told for the hundredth time that my full turn won't count.

I miss the hugs from my team when I was scared and the coaches angry.

I miss the giant hugs from my coach the first time I got a skill.

Then I knew that all the yelling had been worth it.

I miss the sweat dripping down my forehead.

I miss the chalk coating my hands

And the callouses that snag.

I miss the gym.

Have you ever had something that was so much a part of you it felt like it was ripping your soul when it was no longer part of your life? Like it was tearing apart the very fabric of your being? 

When I first left the gym, thoughts of it would bring hot tears to my eyes and I could nothing to stop them. Now when I think of gym, I don't cry, but there is a dull ache there that is somehow worse than the raw emotion of the tears. An ache that will never quite go away. Only lies unnoticed. An ache that cannot be healed.  

This Cube of Rubik

If you don't recognize that line, get of the internet this instant and go watch movies until you do. I'm not even going to tell you what movie to watch. Just leave and don't come back until you can tell me the movie and scene that line is from.

Recently, I learned how to solve a Rubik's cube. And it makes me happy. The first time I ever solved one, I laughed so hard I cried. But I couldn't do it by myself. My friends had to help me. But that night, my friend (who had also just learned to solve it) and I went to her basement, turned on Hercules, ate Reese's and solved Rubik's Cubes. It was great.

But then I went home and kept practicing it, and bringing it to church so I could ask what the next step was, and yesterday, I rode to the airport with some friends to meet the team our church sent to Croatia this year, and I solved the thing like 3 times in the car, and a bunch more in the airport. And each time, I got closer and closer, until I finally could do it myself!!!

So the whole point of this random little ramble is that I can solve a Rubik's Cube with no help at all and it makes me very happy! This is quite possible the stupidest most pointless post I've ever written, and I have no excuse. Only that I am bored, and so I thought I should tell you guys a story so you could join me in boredom. I will not be offended if you decide not to read this post.

Love, 

Robin  

I Jumped Off the Face of the Earth

It's been ages since I posted. The truth is I jumped off the face of the earth and explored the great void beyond ran around like a crazy person at work camp and vbs. I always said, "Oh, I'll post later," and then....later never came. Later is not a faithful friend, you guys. Never shows up on time. Ever.
So. Typical but hopefully not generic update on what I've been doing while I have been absent form the internet.

First, I got a job. I work at Zaxby's, and no, I am not sick of their food yet. It's a nice job, even if I do have to wash a ton of dishes. :)
I was a councilor at my church's Kid's Camp for the first time, which was great fun, as kid's camp always is. A little rain will never stop us! Our team was the Blue Eggs and Ham (don't knock the Suess) and our theme was Return of the King, and we referenced LOTR constantly. The green team was called the Green Dragons, and their cheer was the song Pippin and Merry sing about the Green Dragon pub in Two Towers. Only they changed the words so it wasn't about a pub. :) One of my dear friends came back from Indiana for camp and made camp all that much better!
Then there was a week's reprieve and VBS started. I was in the skit that we performed at the end of each day, and it was a blast! I had to learn to speak with a western accent, and not burst out laughing at the funny parts. Especially when I could see all the kids laughing. It was a great time though, involving much laughter, and the consumption of copious amounts of coffee.

That's about it, and now that my life has calmed some what, I will hopefully begin to post more often. But as this is summer, and summer tends to be spontaneous, no guarantees.

Until the next time, 

Robin      

Summer

A sleepover with two of my best friends last night, even though it was a Monday. Staying up late writing and talking. Getting up in the morning to a breakfast of toaster waffles and syrup. That's summer. That delightful season where I can never remember what day of the week it is. Where I can stay up late every night if I want, because I don't have school the next day.

I love summer.

I love having my friends here on a Tuesday morning, and we decide to have lightsaber fights just for old time's sake. Then we get hot and go inside to sit in the basement drink coffee and write. Then we return to the outside to defend the planet backyard from the invading munchkins. (We won). Going to get slushies just for the heck of it.

I love the feeling I get when I realize that my church's kid's camp is only a week away. And I squeal with excitement, because, let's face it, I'm just as excited for camp as the kids are. I get to be a counselor for the first time this year, and I cannot wait!! And then this realization spurs on a conversation that goes something like this: "Remember that time..." "Yes!!! Remember the year...." And on and on it goes.

To me, all these things make up summer. Days where the sun shines and the air feels like the inside of an oven and all I want to do is jump in a pool. Summer days are filled with memories, and every summer I remember the things that happened last year and smile. And I know that knew memories will be created and I will have more stories to tell.

Also, pictures from the trip to Orlando that I forgot to tell you all about will be posted soon! (hopefully!)

Love, 

Robin

 

Suck It Up

So I've been thinking. Awhile ago, everyone was doing these things where they came up with a manifesto, or a life motto or something like that. And I was like, "Eh, that's cool. But I don't really have one." I don't really have one thing that can sum up how I view my life. I could tell you lots of things in life I enjoy; rainy days, cool breezes, good stories, the feeling of sticking a landing, a hug from my coach, but none of that is the sort of thing I could use to sum up my life, or how I try to go about living my life.

Well, the other day I was thinking about gym, and I was laughing about all the things our coaches say to us. The most common being some version of "Suck it up!". This, I realized should be my life's motto.

Suck it up!

I know you're all probably thinking, "Isn't that more like a sports thing, Robin? That doesn't apply to the rest of life." I know it sounds like something you would only hear in the gym, or the pool or the playing field. I know it sounds harsh and mean, and usually life mottos (or whatever you want to call it) are sweet or inspirational or something like that. And this, well it sounds like an irritated coach who is tired of complaining. (Probably because it came out of the mouth of one). But it really actually applies.

When I'm at gym (logical place to start), and I start complaining about how my arms are about to fall off, or it's not my fault my legs aren't straight, they have a mind of their own, or how I'm not flexible and this really hurts, I hear, "Suck it up!" (or some variation there of) from my coaches. Or sometimes from my self mentally. Suck it up, and deal with the pain. Get over it, you're not going to die.

In school, when I have tons of homework and I'm driving home thinking that all I want to do is lay on the floor pretending the world doesn't exist, I have to remind myself of this (hard). Suck it up, girlie. Just get home, get the work done. Suck it up, and deal with it. You can handle a little extra work.

When my plans for the week get thrown off, and I have to be super busy, or someone forgets to tell me that something needs or doesn't need to be done. I have to say, (you guessed it), suck it up. Pull yourself together, and get a move on. So you have to stay up till midnight writing a paper. Suck it up. Sleep is for the weak.

It even fits in with my Christian walk. Okay, now I know you're probably thinking "What in the world? That one really doesn't make sense." Who knows. Maybe you're not and this all makes perfect sense. Either way I'm going to explain it. When trials come (even little ones) and I want to get grumpy, and not do the right thing, I need to say to myself, "Suck it up!" No one ever said the Christian life would be easy, in fact, Christ said it would be hard. So when bad stuff happens, and I want to complain, or take the easy way out, I need to suck it up and deal with it. Even in the small things like reading my Bible every day. A lot of times I say I'm to tired, or to busy. Too bad. Suck it up, kid. Get yourself out of bed and do what you have to.

So there you have it. Life motto. Suck it up.

Crayons Can Melt On Us For All I Care

That is how I feel at this point. Crayons can melt on us for all I care. Everything is crazy right now with graduation and finals. Again. crayons can melt on us. Unless they're poison crayons. Then that would be bad.  Extremely so. I mean, who wants to be covered in poison crayons? Anyways. Whatever. 

I want to have a Disney movie marathon. My sister is watching Cinderella right now, and earlier she watched The Emperor's New Groove. And now I want a marathon. Any one interested?

(a picture for your benefit)

This is quite possibly the most random post I've ever written. Mainly because I'm avoiding my anatomy homework. But I really should get off the internet and work. But I really don't want to. Oh well. Maybe I'll get my Hogwarts letter, or the TARDIS will show up in my yard, or I'll walk into my closet and find myself in Narnia. That would be nice. Or maybe my cup will magically refill with coffee. Sorry, I'm rambling. 

This made me laugh. Hopefully you can see it. 

If not, take my word for it. It's funny.

Also, before I go, the title for this post is the title of a song by Relient K. Here are the lyrics. 

(Trust me. Watch the video.) Enjoy! =)

Until a later time when I don't have homework hanging over my head, 

Robin

Wedding Day!!!

Well. I am even later than usual in posting. My only excuse is that I have been crazy busy, but I haven't posted since last month...so that seems like a lame excuse. But worry not, dear readers, I have not abandoned thee!

Anyways, with this post I bring you the promised wedding pictures! Enjoy!

While she was getting her nails done, she made Caitlyn feed her.

On the way! 

Flower girl and ring bearer.

That's all for now, guys! Hope you enjoyed the pictures!