Do Nothing

In my Sunday school class we've been going through Philippians. Sunday, we got to the verse, "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, regard one another as more important than yourselves" We only got through the first part; 'Do nothing from emptiness or empty conceit". Whenever someone mentioned this verse, it would sort of just slide through my mind as something that I should do, and if you ever asked me what it meant, I would just say, "Well it means that we're supposed to be unselfish." It's a verse I've heard a million times throughout my life. Whenever I argued with my sister, my mom would quote this verse to me. It fits nicely into almost any situation, and so it's kind of like John 3:16; we just sort of glaze over it, or simply think, "Oh, yes! I want to be unselfish like that!" Or at least that's how I feel. But there's so much more there than we realize, as I learned yesterday.

Nothing. It's a fairly simple word. It means, well, it means nothing. It means nothing, not even one. But when you put that second part back into the verse, it becomes, "Do nothing not even one, from selfishness or empty conceit." We can't do even one thing for selfish motives. Not a single one. Not even when the thing itself is a good thing. Like when we, as girls, want to dress nicely. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look cute, but a lot of times we do it so that people will notice, or in the hopes that some one will complement our outfit. Which is done from selfishness. Or on Sunday mornings, when I search frantically for my favorite sharpie pen while the rest of my family wants to get out the door and to church on time. There's nothing wrong with me wanting to use a certain pen, but it's selfish of me to continue searching for it when my family is ready to go, and my Dad is starting to get stressed. Selfishness permeates so many of the things we do every single day. I realized that so many of my actions are done for selfish reasons, and I don't even realize it because the things themselves aren't wrong. 

Empty conceit. Pretty much the same thing. We do things so that it will make us look good and feel good. We take pictures of our drawings and paintings and such and post them on facebook, along with the photos we take, and we always get super excited when we get so many lies, or when people comment on our posts. Not that it's bad when some one likes your work, or that facebook is bad; (I have one, so I can't very well say it's evil)! But when we post these things, are we really doing it just for fun, or are we doing to try and get people to praise us and say we're so beautiful, or so talented, or whatever it is? So many times we do stuff out of "empty conceit" with out knowing it. After this lesson, I started imagining out a conversation in my head, something I do often, for no real reason. We were going to a friends' house that afternoon, and I imagined what I would say if my friend's parents asked me how Sunday school was. And I imagined myself replying, "It was really good, very convicting, but good" with a little laugh at the end. And I as I thought this out, I realized I'd just broken all my good resolutions about not being selfish and full of empty conceit that I'd made after Sunday school. Even if I didn't specifically acknowledge it to myself, my purpose in answering that way  would have been to make myself look good. There wasn't anything wrong with that answer, it was a good lesson, and I did feel convicted by it, but I was responding out of selfishness and empty conceit. If this conversation had taken place, (it didn't) I would have answered honestly, but I hope, after that thought, I would have done it with purer motives.

Basically, all that to say, I realized how completely, despicably selfish I am. Without even realizing it have the time. With out Christ, every single action, word and thought of every single day are motivated by selfishness. And that makes the fact that Christ would condescend to save me even more mind blowing. But the task He has set before  us, to "do nothing out of selfishness or empty conceit" is a daunting one. And while He's promised to help us through it, we'll never be able to achieve it completely, but our inability will help us keep in mind the joy of the knowledge of ultimate salvation.

Love,
Robin

And So It Starts (Again)

School started this week. No more sleeping till eleven and wandering around the house watching movies and reading books for me. Be that as it may, I was kind of looking forward to the start of school. I like school (most of the time) because its interesting (usually) and with the exception of math. So. Monday. That day dreaded by all the inhabitants of this planet Earth. That day that drags us all out of bed after the delightful sleep and relaxation of the weekend. I had an absolutely undeniably horrid interesting Monday.
First I woke up 15 minutes before I had to leave, but I somehow managed to get out the door almost on time. But I am geographically challenged. I'm going to a different college campus this semester, and I got lost on the way there. In the end, my friend's mom actually drove to the parking lot where I stopped and had me follow her to the school. So I was 20 minutes late for my first class. 'Well at least it can't get any worse'  Never say that. Stuff always gets worse when you say that! I read my schedule wrong after my first class, and went to what I thought was my second one, and realized 10 minutes into it that it was the wrong class and arrived 10 minutes late to the right one. So I had to walk in front of the whole class collecting all these papers from the teacher. And one the way home I almost, almost got lost again. So by the time I was on the way home I was ready to be home lay on the couch and say "No one talk to me" But when I walked up the stairs I just started laughing. It is kind of funny in hindsight.

So that was my Monday? How was yours?

Oh, also, this is a random thought that's been floating around in my head for awhile. For those of you who have read or watched (or both) The Lord of the Rings, what do you think would have happened if Denethor had met Aragorn?

That Feeling

I stand carefully outside the white line; waiting. Head up, shoulders back, hands turned palms neatly behind me. I force myself to breath, trying to sooth the crowd of butterflies flapping desperately in my stomach. I run through everything in my head, all the things I must remember. Then I hear my name called. I look up at the speaker, who sits with one hand raised, lift my chin, and raise my arms above my head. I walk out onto the floor, kneel down arms in front, crossed at the wrists. I take one more deep breath. For a moment I am very conscious of the silence all around me, the silence that permeates even the voices calling out encouragement. Then the music starts. i am in a world all my own. I dance into the corner, take a step back, breath, and go. A few seconds later I am on my feet again, and I realize that I did it. I cannot stop the grin that spreads over my face. That feeling that comes only with the knowledge that weeks of hard practice payed off. I dance again, and I don't have to concentrate as hard, but then I once more find myself in the corner, taking a deep breath as the heavy feeling of concentration settles over me. I run. I move my legs as fast as I can for a few short seconds, then the world spins and I am once more on my feet. Again I feel the pleasure of not falling; saving the landing. The rest will be easy now.

Now I stand head up, shoulders back, waiting again. I shift me feet uncomfortably on the blue plastic mat, trying to keep them from sweating to much. I want for that hand to raise up, my signal to start. "Why is she taking so long?" I wonder, as that familiar nervousness settles over my stomach once more. But then her hand goes up and I begin. The first skill is hardest. I am upside down on my hands. Then one foot lands. Then the other. My toes grip the beam as though my very life depended on it. But I don't fall. And that feeling of relief, pleasure, pride in completing that which is difficult for me, it all bubbles up in my heart as I relish the feel of my feet sturdily thudding down on the beam, the satisfaction of my toes holding me in place as I stand. That indescribable feeling.

Hey guys! What do you think of the new design? Thanks to Natalie from I Dream in French for doing it for me! She's wonderful. :)  This post was inspired by my first gymnastics competition of the season, which was this Saturday. Other than that though, nothing happened, and I don't go back to school for another week.

So, until I get a perfect 10, 

Robin  

Happy New Year

2012 is gone, 2013 has come. When I was younger, I heard I car commercial mentioning something like "No down payments till 2013!!" And I remember thinking to myself, "Well then it's basically free, because we'll all be dead by then!" I find that very humorous at the moment. Time flies.

This past year was crazy (but good) one. Everything seemed to change for me. I got my liscence, I started my senior year, I started taking college classes, my sister got engaged. The Hobbit came out. So many good things happened, but at the same time I felt like I was living in a whirlwind. A whirlwind where I struggled spiritually and struggled to grasp the fact that so many things were changing and ending for me.

Despite that, it's been a wonderful year, and I'm so thankful for the friends and family who made it that way. Now to find out what 2013 has in store for me!